Save Hollywood!

I have heard from several reputable industry insiders that the current economic crisis is taking an unexpectedly hard toll on Hollywood. Like everyone else, over the past year people who work in the television and film industries have seen their benefits cut, pensions disappear, and mortgages fail as the Four Horsemen of the Economic Apocalypse gallop towards the United States. But until recently, their jobs were safe.

You see, typically, during bad economic times people spend more time watching tv and going to the movies as a substitute for more expensive entertainment like concerts, theater, and travel (...unless you live in New York, where you can take a bus to Boston for less than it costs to see a movie...). So, even though they were feeling the pinch, the thousands of people who hold low- to mid-level positions in the creative and production departments of the major media companies, could rest relatively easy.

But then things got really bad, and in order to keep being able to afford to charter private jets to fly themselves to the condos in Cannes and Sundance and Tribeca that they keep exclusively for "festival seasons,"* the big bosses are conserving funds by pulling the plug on projects and instituting blanket hiring freezes (a real deathblow because it is regular practice for many people to be hired as "freelance" or "contract" workers whose employment is guaranteed only on a project or episodic basis).

What does all this mean? It means that lots of people in Los Angeles are freaking out. TV shows are being abruptly canceled, despite being several episodes deep into contracted full-season production schedules. That means all of the writers, camera people, boom operators, key grips, guys that hold those big silver things behind the lights, etc. who were hired to work specifically on a show get fired when it is canceled. Other people may be involved with projects that are more secure, but are nonetheless fearful of what will happen when those projects inevitably come to an end.

So what are all of these dispossessed workers supposed to do? Honestly, I don't care that much ... I'm broke too, my friends, and I don't really feel like looking out for anyone but #1 until after January 20th (when the inauguration of President Obama will magically transport us to a happier and more plentiful tomorrow full of teamwork and altruism). But, I did get the wackest fortune from a fortune cookie last night (see below) -- not only was it not a "fortune," per se, but it also lacked even a hint of the wisdom of the ancient Asian mystics. So, I would like to suggest that any Hollywood writers who are looking to pick up some cash check into becoming a forture cookie fortune writer. I don't know if it pays well or offers dental insurance or whatever, but they definitely need the help and there's no place for egos in tough times like these.


I mean, what it says is true... I just never realized that Noah Webster (of dictionary fame) was considered a go-to source for the wisdom and guidance of the ages.

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*NOTE: Allegedly.